Matter

Gay Pride: Queer Azaadi March 2012

2012-01-19T15:35:00.000+05:30

It's Pride Week this year folks! Events to come from 21st to 28th. Venues to go! TISS, Deonar, Humsafar DIC, Vakola, Cafe Mocha, Mulund, Carter Road Amphitheatre, The big nasty, Bandra, August Kranti Maidan, Chowpatty! Check out the schedule

Everyone!

Damon Delirium

2012-01-19T03:18:00.003+05:30

Oh I love you so,
I got out of bed to write!
You are my first celeb crush ever
That look of yours so clever,
Makes my heart tight light tight light!

You are only a fictional hero
Our chances of together are zero
But look how I love you,
Do you feel my infatuation for you?
On twitter he tweets, that Ian Somerhalder
Half my crush is on his activist nature

Are you really a fiction of somebody's imagination?
Can I kiss that smile off your face with passion?
Oh no! I'm a fangirl NO NO! NOO My snotty self derides
And yet this crush persists, all else it overrides
I give up! Let me just AAH AAH OOH OOH at you!

Oh I love you so
I got out of bed to write
You are my first celeb crush ever,
That look of yours so clever
Makes my heart tight light tight light!

Motley Crew For Blue

2011-09-28T20:14:00.002+05:30

"Oh he has a severe case of blues,"
A scribe's wife rues,
"Yes!", Mr. Deskman croons,
"Only the Air-Indian Blues!"
"NO!", says the ingenieur,
His colour chart mounts,
"One!" the counter counts,
To prompt nine chronic cues.

Just a silly verse inspired by a facebook thread discussing the blue epidemic amongst men. I'm not satisfied with he last two lines. How can I rephrase to include an accountant?

2011-06-14T23:25:00.001+05:30

I dislike electronica; And trance,
Too fake, bourgeois, too new
And although there's poetry in rap,
I dislike rap & hip hop too.

Kissing Machine

2011-03-17T03:28:00.001+05:30

I want a kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

My personal permanent kissing machine.

It's criminal to be unkissed for so long

His body would be beautifully sunkissed

His lips, Full, Soft, Luscious all round.

And my dears, He'd know how to move them around

There wouldn't be any clinking of teeth

Nor a rushed dive down

We'd kiss and kiss and kiss so much

From morning until sundown

Hachiku Dreams

2011-01-22T19:25:00.004+05:30

Still from the movie New York, I Love You

Two lovers grew old together,
In a small suburb,
With mountains and the sea,
One for him, for her the other.
Woods for two too.

Those picket fences were painted white,
A green topped home,
Like his eyes.
The wood boarded walls were lighter..
Her eyes though, were much darker.
It snowed in the winter.

Many seasons passed
They hand in hand walked.
She said,
"I'm cold baby hold me closer.
Lift your feet. Lift your feet.
Lift your feet you pink skinned grumpy old man!"

Raised two good golden-skinned children,
He pottered around in that garden,
And she pottered around him.
She did afterall cook in that kitchen.
She'd known she would if it came to that.

And they had a loyal dog,
A large loyal greyhound.
Or was it a wolfhound
The skies were brighter,
As their eyes grew lighter,

Just a dream.

How can a movie about a dog
Bring it all back so clearly?
These ghosts of my past,
The one I loved dearly.

Maybe it came true
For someone else, not me
It must be a common dream.
For an earthly being.

Or maybe it did for me,
In the place where things go right.
In that alternate reality,
He didn't change, nor delude himself,
She was smarter
His loyalties were with her
It wasn't so hard.
Her hair didn't start to whiten in a year.

They're old, holding hands and walking
As she says,
"I love you too baby.
Don't let go of me.
Lift your feet and walk.
Lift your feet.
Lift your feet you grumpy old man!"

Your Mine

2011-01-18T12:52:00.000+05:30

You are your own witness.
Sanity is an absence of the extraordinary.
Half-lives decay exponentially
Birthing a stable ally.

Move and mine,
Open your eyes!
Prometheus will bring you life,
Paris will reward your strife.

Half-lives decay exponentially
Birthing a stable ally.
Was it lost, or did it thus transmute?
A different eye will give you a clue.

Move and mine,
Open your eyes!
Was that platinum you sold?
While you hunted for gold?

Move your mine!
Dispersed treasures are hardly found.
Yet bountiful; interspersed, together abound.
Prometheus will bring you life,
Paris will reward your strife.

Mine miner
Group 11 is but a primer.
Not just blondes in Scandinavia
Not just blondes in Sweden,
Lanthanum is Greek for to be hidden
Two decades of time you've bidden.

Half-lives decay exponentially
Birthing a stable ally.
Prometheus will bring you life,
Paris will reward your strife.

© Priya Ohol
January 18, 2010

A response to another friend.

Autumn $ Spring

2011-01-17T02:02:00.003+05:30

Autumn and Spring
For fleeting glimpses last
One of colours, one contrast.

Both shed the old
To infuse new life

Let there be more
I have known this before
Smelt the crisp snow
Through someone else's breath
Wordy dreamy promises galore

Flaming firetops later too
"Oh you would love the wide open skies so blue."
"And I would hold you."
Ahah! Ooh ooh!Hahaha
When you hit the brickwall
Thank the lord for sweet
cushioning romance of fall

Rubbish

2010-12-08T01:24:00.000+05:30

Letters, declarations of love, marriage, promises,
Mementos, gifts, coat hangers, cards,
Books, Pictures, sweaters, purses, hats, clothes,
Of a life shared.

I took down the paintings, the drawings, slogans and posters.
Only the stickies jut out of my rooms bare walls.

Even socks and a jacket to keep me warm,
A jewellery box and that red camera,
All I could I gave back.

The rest was reluctantly given away,
A blanket, remaining clothes.
The pretty yellow summer dress we bought & I gaily wore,
Thrown away, dust-binned,
sometimes left somewhere behind.
Somethings I tore and cried.

I'm moving on.
From the choices offered.
This was the only way to be.
Met some old friends,
Even went on a date of late.

You would think everything was purged
But no my friend
once a perfume,
once the forks
a tshirt then another
then a pant or two

Then daddy did the laundry that day
And a black tee with a skull on it
fluttered in the wind on my window
Asked why, he said he didn't know
I took it and smelled it and lay in my bed for two days
Used it with the nail polish remover and to clean my desk
It's in the dust-bin now.
That's where it belongs.

2010-12-06T22:04:00.001+05:30

Two lives had met and mingled
On a road less traversed
In hindsight it was so doomed
It was doomed from the start

Crush - This one is ridiculously childish

2010-11-25T01:11:00.001+05:30

I've got a crusshhh on youuuuuu
I'm crusshhingg on youuuu
gots meself a crusssssh
ooo baby ooo

you're so darned cutteee
how can anyone be so normal whoa?
haven't had that word around forever
ooo la ooo

I could just kisssss youuu
Just to stun the crap out of youuu
oooo what fun that would be too
Ooo just pop them on your cuteass face
Out of the blue
mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah

But of course I won't!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Get out of my headddddd!!! Haaaaa!

2010-09-07T22:02:00.000+05:30

"You should have let me know
Forever to you,
Meant for a while."

Carly Fiorina, John McCain, Squidoo, Backward Integration

2008-07-12T08:53:00.006+05:30

Mornin' Bloggies!

Haven't posted in here for a long time, have I? I post on Bombay Girl though as often as I can nowadays, which is rarely. But that's beside the point. I'm here, aren't I? I'm alive. So is Carly Fiorina. I cannot even begin to fathom how the woman could be a spokesperson for such an Ass!

John McCain is a jerk. From what I gather, he rejected a bill a few years which would have made it mandatory for insurance companies to pay for prescription contraceptions. American Insurance companies pay for viagra? Is that weird or what? To us certainly. But the point if from the point of women's rights the guy is a dinosaur and Carly Fiorina is supporting him?!

The piece de` resistance came when Carly Fiorina who is a spokesperson for the McCain campaign made a statement about how many women would like birth control options to be covered by insurance companies.

"I've been hearing a lot about from women: There are many health insurance plans that will cover Viagra but won't cover birth control medication. Those women would like a choice."

The man she's supporting when confronted about it clammed up. Check out this LINK

Or see this CNN video

It shows the clear discomfort the man is under. CNN did a check and he indeed voted against the bill five years ago. America! Do NOT Choose another jerk for president! What is it with the greatest country in the world being spearheaded by tyrannosaurus rex's?

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU Ms. FIORINA? Why the hell are you supporting jerks in the same league as Tom Perkins?

Seth Godin & Squidoo

Was just reading an article about Marketing Guru Seth Godin's Squidoo going on Google's blacklist because of spam. Wonder what Google does about blogger blogs spinned by thousands which I run into so often. Does owning blogger excuse the fact that it has blogspam too which is fed into it's very own search engines?

Our Simplified Knowledge Tidbit Of The Day

What is backward integration?

Say you're a big corp, medium corp, whatever corp with a relatively smaller supplier. BUT the material supplied by THIS vendor is of high value to you or it's indispensable. You probably pay out a whole lot to this vendor. Brilliant IDEA!! Why don't you buy it out?! Saved costs, smaller supply chain, control over your input, already set up business.

That's Backward Integration.

Ta! Later.

Character

2007-09-15T04:01:00.000+05:30

Character is not what people think of you or label you as. It is what you ARE.

Do you agree?

Like a Rolling Stone

2007-08-20T02:37:00.000+05:30

A couple of chugs of whiskey although it doesn't usually find me in its favor, wrested from the brother and common crazy vocalist friend Vasant , and 2 whole bowls of sweet corn soup made with love by the father, I'm here. It's almost 3 am. I can hear the night buzz which is never human. And the white noise of the fan whirring above. I stood for a long while today. Looking out of the window.Searching for the moon and the horizon. They evaded me. Hiding behind clouds.

I looked out and back at the days that passed me by.Unseeing eyes searching.I wonder what.I wonder why.

I've been working. A solid body aching,mind tingling,half head thumping dose of work that. And I've been trying to cope. With fast changes,new people,new learnings and new beginnings. I'm home today.Sort of moved out a week ago. Not the ok I'm walking out of here
thing this time.'Hitler' (Code name for B.O.S.S.) said I could use the official accommodation till someone out of town in need comes along since traveling is such an hassle given where I stay.

So after 2 weeks of horrendous traveling I decided to test it out. And realized just how much of a family girl I am.I miss the sister and even more so when she rings me and starts crying because she's sad as hell and doesn't know why or is confused and doesn't have me around to come to.So I sometimes open orkut to heart-rending scraps of "I miss you,I love you" or a "ghar aaja pardesi tera desh bulaye" not from a male admirer but the child I tried to raise. And I get phone calls from the awesome dad and we-can't-stand-each-other-but-still-love-each-other Mom asking me to get my arse back where it belongs everyday.

The day I was supposed to move in, My father stood watching while I ran after the bus and long after I boarded it. I hadn't hugged him in the rush and was in half a mind to get back down before the conductor yelled me in and my 'have to get to work' warning flashed. So I stood there with two bags in the door looking myopically at my father who hadn't moved an inch. He cried that night my mother said.

They're worried.So am I.

Home is where your heart is. Cliche`d maybe.

I like the new place and the new roommates. But here I have my own room and my things and my people. I decided to move not just because of accessibility but because I needed to get out of this familiar and secure place. Out of the shadow of myself. Out of my home and my room and my space and my family.Where my clothes are automatically clean and there's a plate of food in my hand when I should be eating and privacy when I'm (Metamorphosis of Narcissa)
mad.Have you ever been trapped?By good things and the good that people did for you?Or the bad things and worse that people did to you?Have you ever been lost?And did you find your way back?Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?Have you ever been hungry having nothing to eat and told your brother so on the phone?Did you ever hit the lowest lows from the highest highs and scrounged and fought and tried to claw your way back?

I'm home today. Me,my brother and Vasant sat here talking and jamming and listening to music.To Vai and Satriani and Cobain and Vedder and denver. And the brother all of a sudden came rushing out of the kitchen where the maggi was cooking.

'Piu, I was listening to a song the other day that reminded me of you.It was so you."
He shuffled around in my music till he reached Dylan.
"Since when did you start listening to Bob Dylan dada?"
"Arre I was just looking through your music and when I listened carefully it reminded me of you"
Then he double clicked on 'like a rolling stone'

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you
how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have
to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And say, do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns
on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal

How does it feel
How does it feel
To have on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better take your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

We looked at each other and shook our heads and chuckled and laughed at the bittersweet truth and irony of it all.Indignantly I showed him my answer to it.
He simply said don't ever stop writing.And so I wont stop.Like a rolling stone.

..Hear ye me©

2007-07-19T18:49:00.000+05:30

Yet again I shall rise,
A crusade it is.
Let recur a thousand times.
Shall perish;against a fierce will.

For,
Did not many a great men,
Lay it down for this?
To choose and chase a dream?

Step away then;Start again,
Granting old memories within.
Stride onward brazenly;discern,
The treasure is of being.

~© July 2007 Priya Ohol

The above lines were in response to a friends poetry post a coupla days ago.

2007-07-16T03:42:00.000+05:30

Ever felt like screaming and throwing up because you saw,heard or felt something beyond your remotest imagination?

I read THIS .

Gawwd

It's not the first time I read 'about' it.In fact most of us have studied or come across it to the point of acceptance and nonchalance.But that article.

Words fail me right now.Once again.I just,just am aware of this very real and immediate feeling of hatred.Towards that one man who let it happen.Harry truman.And the realization of what 'hatred' really feels like.Despair that many of my heroes were so directly related to it.

Physics.Einstein.humanity.morality.Feynman.Fermi.Science.

I'm just so disturbed.gawwd just read that damned thing.

Soulful Melancholy ©

2007-06-27T21:43:00.000+05:30

At the onset,
Let us be clear that I don't consider my writing skills extra-ordinary.I write how I speak literally and how I feel at a particular point of time.Nor do I consider myself to be an above mediocre poet.

Though admittedly,
I haven't asked for a fair review from any authorities.
At the risk of appearing immodest,let me tell you a small incidence which has stayed with me.

I wrote my first poem when I was in my 7th grade.Our English teacher,By the name Isabel Periera was quite a caricature.She had once given me a remark that I'll never forget and neither did she or my dad.

"Like a monkey on a tree,she keeps on chattering in the class."

But her knowledge about the language I will not dispute.I remember Keats and Tennyson.And I remember the tenses still.What seems like a lifetime of mechanical and technical lingo hasn't diminished that.But I digress again.

One fine day in 7th grade,I was sitting outside in the verandah.Day-dreaming away.Early evening,my school dress was still on.Although I'd finished my homework.They must be the early months of the year.School was coming to an end but exams hadn't started yet.

It was neither winter nor summer and there was a gentle breeze coming down from the hills.
I was watching the trees swaying.The branches of the gulmohar tree softly brushing against each other.The sky had turned orange and then pink and faint traces of purple were creeping in.

After a while to my eyes everything started blurring into each other.The boundaries of the leaves disappeared,the wind mingled with the trees and the sky with them both and they all with me.I was immensely happy I can say.Because I swelled with happiness and I forgot everything for a few moments.

It was surreal and strangely heart-rending to this 13 year old kid.As I saw the leaves touching each other and making the gentle swishing sound,a word formed in my head.It was "caress". I dunno how but I thought in my little head,"how gently they caress" and I had to write it down.

So I ran in and got my diary.Selfmade out of old notebook papers and cardboard.And sewn by me.I started writing.I wrote about the beauty I was witnessing and about what I felt.And at the end of it when I was done and dusk had settled,I realised it was a poem.I'd written verses and verses.I ran in and nudged daddy who was in front of the T.V. and showed it to him apprehensively with the pen still in my hand.

You see daddy had shown me a couple of poems he'd written in college and were published in his college magazine.They were in hindi.But I was always amazed at how this big burly man with the rough voice and commanding personality could write so sensitively and poetry at that!

Daddy read and reread again.He was clearly surprised and pleased for sure.Because he called out to my mom and showed it to her and I remember them both beaming at me and saying it was wonderful.Mom made me write a copy for her.

The next day I went to school eager to show it to my English Teacher for her opinion.I waited in agony till she'd done with the days revision.When the time came for self study,I took my piece of paper hidden in the book and walked upto her cautiously pretending to ask a doubt.
And in barely a whisper so that the class didn't hear I said "Miss I wrote a poem.Will you look at it please."

Miss. Isabel Pereira did look at it.She put her glasses on and raised her eyebrows and peered intently while I waited.
After five minutes she handed me back the paper,shook her head vehemently and dismissed me with her trademark hand actions saying;

"You didn't write this poem!!You copied one of Wordsworth's.Go back to your seat now."

(For the uninitiated William Wordsworth wrote the poem 'daffodils'.He wrote about nature.)

I was bewildered.I'd expected criticism but not an accusation to this extent.

While I protested about the originality of my work.She shooed me away (still shaking her head and flailing her hands) and I was almost in tears.It was a terrible terrible let down.I came home sad and shut myself in my room till mom looked in in the evening asking what was wrong.I told her.She took me to dad and let him know.

Then she showed me a couple of typewritten copies she had gotten from the one I'd given her.She'd shown it to her friends at work and they were going to print it in their yearly office journal.Papa said he was going to submit it too.And then he told me to take what my teacher said as a compliment.Because Although she had failed to recognise my talent as an original,she'd compared it with a great poet.

I wish I had a copy of that poem.It got lost along the years.Maybe forever when we moved.I don't even remember the title now.

But since then I know,I can't sing well,or dance,or play an instrument.But I can write.Maybe not excellently and theres always room for improvement but I can.I've written Good poetry,bad poetry,horrid poetry,love poems,long love letters.And terribly scrawled journals pouring out everything about me since I prefer to not burden friends.

Then there was a period when I broke off with someone I'd loved deeply and I stopped writing totally.Not even a journal and things stayed in me.

So a year and a half ago out of the blue I woke up in january and two poems came to me.Then when I'd finally had enough I made a private blog.Its my personal shithole.I had to write out so much.
But coming back to the point,There's something about poetry.That flow of words and verses magical.Playing with them,making them seem effortless.

Poetry is the most personal medium of communication.Simply because it's nothing but feelings.About people,life,nature and so many different things.

You could read someone's life in their poems.Maybe incorrectly or half truths.But some truth nonetheless.It may be fiction mostly but the emotions are true and the poet will draw upon experiences and incorporate them in a verse.In my experience it just comes to you.You're sitting there and it comes involuntarily;the feelings that is.You might be disturbed to search a word but often times the words come just as they are too.

I came across this refreshingly different young guy on a networking site the other day.And he opened with a verse.We had an exchange in verses.(I was planning on recording it here but maybe another post.) And in between started talking about poetry.

About how not many people can appreciate it.We both agreed that it was because of the patience required and the love and because it was such an abstract medium.And because of the patience needed and abstractness,not many people care to devote much time to random poetry unless its someone you would be interested in knowing or are acquainted with already.Also so many random poems are juvenile beyond reason.Wouldn't you agree!?
They try my patience too!

Here's one just came to me,While listening to some melodies.Ah!I was about to give a preview about its meaning but I just had an idea!Let's see what you gather out of it.It will be another neat experiment to see how perception varies.

So read through and tell me what the poem sounds like.Who do you think it's talking about?
What do you think it's trying to say?...
Oh you can criticise it too.Please infact,I'd love that.But do this for me pwease.

Whoever hits it closest,wins a verse written with whatever word or name you want in it.

Soulful melancholy
Torturous this desire!

Entranced,
I walk towards;
You, evade me.

Satiated earth,
Lush emerald and green.
I still thirst.

O!How I thirst.

For my lips tremble.
Yours so soft.
Warm embraces;
Shelter me.

A familiar smell,
Illusion of my heart.
I keep alive,
Against dying embers.

Tinkling laughter,
Beckoning.
But afar.
Gone before I reach.

Tresses mine,
Cascade behind,
Youth abloom,
Longing for a touch.

Sounds of silence
Tearing me apart,
O lover mine,
I wait,In vain.

~Priya Ohol

© 28 June 2007 Priya Ohol- The Shrew.All rights reserved.

2007-06-09T00:15:00.000+05:30

I'm a terrible terrible judge of people.

I need to learn.And Fast.I will.
I'll never put myself through what I have ever again.

Baby talk

2007-05-29T14:58:00.000+05:30

Babieeeeeeeesssssss!!!!!!!!I wwaaaannnnnt babiesssssss.

Little little small small soft soft cute cute babies.

I've been thinking and talking about not wanting kids so often that someone I know said "For someone who doesn't want them till 30 you surely talk a lot about them eh?"

And the other day I caught myself running my hand over my tummy.Feeling this weird soft feeling.

I still remember salsa.The six year old girl running across the beach and throwing herself into my arms saying "You're my mommy.I love you more than life itself." while I sat soaking in the sea watching the sunset last december.

I held her,looking at her face while she smiled,hugging me,looking into my eyes and telling me something so deep.So nonchalantly.So innocent.Curly haired,bright eyed,happy for that moment.It broke my heart and touched me.Deeper than my heart.One of those few moments in life when you really feel.And you realise what it is to be loved.Unconditionally.Even if it is momentary. I guess thats how moments of truth feel like.I know there's a soul.That six year old touched my soul.

Thats where it started.This desire.I fell for their father who was twice my age and more.I fell for the man because of those two beautiful girls (Okay so he was also honey skinned and green eyed and well read and lithe bodied and looked 35 instead of 52.) who ached for a mother so bad that they'd adopt any female who was around them as their "mommy".I wanted to mother them so bad.But well thats another story.

Now that I said it I'm scared!Hehehe I've effectively also managed to scare of any men reading this blog.Good fuckers!If you run at the mention of babies you shouldn't be here in the first place!
Wait!Wait wait wait wait.

I also run at the mention of babies.Or love.Or marriage.

Every bad boys dream girl. Grah!

Blah my sis is my baby.The reason why I never felt I wanted kids or marriage.Was done with the mothering part already.But now she's turning 14.A teenager.Growing up.Teenagers.I guess I have more empathy towards my parents now.

And its no cakewalk.They cry at unwanted places and are heavy to carry around and need constant attention and so many things and are a BIG responsibility.Nevermind.I think I'll wait till 30.Not that I have a choice anyway.There's no guy whose babies I want.

Can I have babies without a guy?And marriage?

That would be so scandalous no?Blah!These girly desires me no likey.
Sheesh imagine me having babies using some random guys random genes,random sperm?! And no father!? I think stephen levitt wouldn't like that at all.Nor would I.

No father = very fucked up confused childhood = pain in the ass = also higher probability of anti-social tendencies = lot more work as a mother.

Where is my prince charming and right feelings and happily ever after?

Blech!
Maybe I'll adopt one.I do want to adopt a child.

Maybe.Sometime in the future.When I'm not as lost as I am.

That Devil's Snare ©

2007-05-20T19:11:00.000+05:30

Take me away from here,
I'm going over the edge,
Almost falling,
Now.
Holding onto whatever I get.

These cold dark recesses.
And no breath.

Go away!
Don't you dare crowd me!!
This circle here I've drawn.

Go away!
Evil wretches!
You can't take me!
I'll scratch,
I'll claw and bite.

It won't be easy on you,
This fight.

Of falling and flailing,
And feeling.

Take me away from here,
I'm going over the edge.
Almost falling.
Holding onto whatever I get.

~Priya Ohol
May 20 2007.

Sunshine Sectors

2007-04-13T06:52:00.002+05:30

All these YFE/Pro-Reservation groups should focus their energy into making the country more conducive for enterprise. Just Google this phrase.This one below.

"

India

's Sunshine Sectors"

Copy paste it in Google search.

Call Centers, Call Centers and more Call Centers.

How disappointing!

80% of

India

's economic growth's predicted to come from this sector. Sucking young blood dry. It’s nothing but glorified telemarketing. I think

India

's next "Brain Drain" perpetrator isn't going to be the

but this industry itself.

The industry is unregulated and although the pay looks attractive,its peanuts compared to the stress and work load.Agreed it imparts selling skills.Particularly in outbound selling projects.Attrition is high and employees move companies with amazing speed.As far as the experience is concerned,unless its at a management level,Or training, it's worth zilch in any other industry.

At the end of the day its nothing but taking/making calls and using your fake accent correctly. This for the record fools nobody. Indians naturally speak English so that with neutralization and accent training it turns more British than American.

Yes all work is respectable. But doing the same monotonous routine, with a minimal use of that thing you call brain ,working nights and long hours day in and day out? It’s a modern day sweatshop really. You don't need a degree just good English. So every year a couple of thousands of young 18 year old s,college dropouts, and fresh graduates swarm to these to make good money. The effects are visible in a year at the most. Imagine what it would do over a lifetime?

That’s a no brainer. I'm against out sourcing of all sorts honestly. The primary reasons why we have these jobs are because the Mac’s decided to give them to us because of CHEAP LABOUR.
It’s just more convenient and profitable to them.

So

India

's projected 80% economic growth from here is nothing but a fraction that these Mac’s are willing to throw at us since its CHEAPER FOR THEM.

But its here and it’s available. And if we don't do it someone else will. Countries like

Philippines

are already positioning themselves as competitors.

There are other "sunshine" sectors of course.

Banking,Retail,Health care,Insurance,IT,Telecom etc.

The retail sector is supposed to come of age by 2010.But wait! Wal-mart has already entered the scene with a Bharati tie up.

The major chunk of the remaining qualified youth goes with software. The "cream" of the country.IIM grads don't even consider these sectors.Investment Banking,Consulting,FM CG and Software/Hardware firms are their choice.

Our major resource is people. While

Germany

’s population is growing old and

Australia

wants young people. We have an adequate amount in the right age group.An young population.We need to channel this resource right. I wonder how many of us from this generation realise that.

Then there are laws.We must be the only country that stunts enterprise.Who will protect first generation entrepreneurs who risk everything?Ups and downs are a part of the game.The small scale entrepreneurs should be protected in some manner. At the very least their homes shouldn't be touched to recover any debts. Initiatives like these would make a tremendous impact on budding entrepreneurs.Such a buffer would help them bounce back.

We need more people willing,a system that encourages them,more Angel Investors and organizations like TIE and FWIE.

IIT Bombay has an E-cell which a friend led a couple of years ago.They started not so long ago to help develop,incubate models and help budding entrepreneurs make their ideas an reality.A couple of years down the line few of those very ideas have seen the light of the day with the help of Angel Investors.
Manish Agarwal and Karthik Jain's Picsquare is one of them.Both resigned corporate jobs to follow their dream. Its a commendable initiative.

NITIE is another institute that has such a cell.Both have tie ups with TiE chapters.
If such associations are adopted by other A grade institutes,which aren't only the IIT's and IIM's then Wow its a matter of time.

But what we really need is Enterprise that adds value.Businesses and start ups that work and make profits and then Generate Employment.

How to make a difference.That is the question.What then is the solution?

No Title.Sod off

2007-04-09T16:41:00.000+05:30

So I had some sula on saturday.

I'm a bad date.I think my not dating time has transcended aeons by now. My idea of a dating is still a friendly meet up with coffee/wine and conversation/silence/music and back home.Some nice time with some nice company.

I don't know since when did it start including mandatory physical intimacy.But I've missed out on that whole boom.And prefer to keep it that way. Am I a prude? No Idea. I'm not comfortable with the idea. Casual sex is normal for people. It happens.

But not with me.I'm just not one of those people.

If it ever happened,I'd have to be not thinking straight to a large extent and pretty mindfucked to another.

Anyhoo,

So I was thinking about who am I. Yesterday.At around 2:30 am. When I finally reached home.
As the days events unfolded again in my mind,I kinda had a picture.

I'm that girl who ate a whole medium pizza [Exotica Freshizza from pizza hut. With paprika sauce, Mmmm] and then nursed a purple rain for almost an hour.Disgusted because it tasted like medicine.Prince's Purple Rain Quality doesn't quite apply to the cocktail of the same name babes.

I'm the girl who went for the late night movie then and laughed her heart out.

I'm that girl who walked out tall with confidence and freaked like a maniac silently within when she saw the stairs were in the dark.

I'm that girl who still tried to walk down the stairs and refused the hand the date offered knowing my Stair-o-phobia.

[And the history of me once cascading down the stairs on my ass in broad daylight on Vile-Parle Station.Resulted in all my belongings and shoes flung far and wide.The auto wallahs were pretty amused.

I blame my two best friends.Guy and girl. Who left me to traverse that eternal distance from top to bottom alone without support fearing their own well being.]

So there I was again,On similar stairs. Faced with a challenge so enormous ,

Me:
...................

Silently thinking in my own mind and paranoid in my heart.

"Omg I'm gonna fall.I'm gonna fall!!! Its frikkin darrrrk!!!!

One step.

I'm gonna Faaaaalll!!

Another step.

Okay I'm NOT gonna fall.

Step.

Think positive THINNNK positive.

A few steps.

Hah!! I'm almost there I made it!

Just correct judgement.Lets try walking nonchalantly WITH correct judgement!

Few more.

AHA!! THE LAST ONE!

Who's your daddy now eh?Who's your dadddddddyyy???Who's yourrr mommmaaaaa?!Hehehe

Dhadham -Dhhdaadkk WHAM!!!!!!

[Insert Animated slow motion scene of me putting a marvellous self confident victorious step ahead and twisting my both ankles splayed inside out like a frikkin duck that rhymes with fuck and Landing on all fours.No you perverts I wasn't doing THAAAT]

Crushing the knees and whacking the cell again.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaa WHaaaaa. uh uhhhuhhhh"

[Crying while my date picks me up by the waist]

Whaaaa IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE FUCKIN STEP.WHERE DID THE OTHER COME FROM !?!!!!?!?!?!

Yes I am that girl.

Whyyy meee? Jesus - H - Christ ,Whyy meee??

P.S. -

1)I have swollen knees and feet and a headache on the left side from that one vein I crushed.

2)I'm not even pregnant.

All Lies ©

2007-04-04T00:01:00.000+05:30

Yesterday,you made me realise,
You were so good at this.
Tried trust but In my mind,
"No don't.He Lies."

That make believe world you made
Spinning dark webs of the past and present
Churning ideas out of your own head.

Fed them to me
I believed naively
You've mastered all lies.
All these Lies Lies Lies lies lies...

And we'd laughed and we'd cried and played..
Together.
And we hurt and made love and just lazed.
Together.
And we danced under the stars stumbling in the sand.
"Get Married!" the old man who sat watching said.
Together.
We were wild and reckless.
When we were together.
Spending every moment of the day
Together.

I wanted to be free
You wouldn't let me
I stayed.
Angry and agitated.
We snapped.We fought.We cried.
Suffocated.I felt Caged.
You held me.
Sometimes too tight.
I was going insane.
"I love you.I've always loved you.
That's the only truth."
You said.

And now I look at you.
You're spiralling out of control.

Now we've spoken
We've both cried.

"Stop it stop it stop it please stop it.
Don't do this to me .
Don't do this to you.
Go away.Start afresh.Make a new life.
Go away,Go away,Go away.Go away."

"Where will I go?
I want to come home.
I'm tired.I'm tied.
They will kill me."

"I dunno if its the truth.
And I believe nothing you say.
I dunno if I care if you died.
You've been hurting me so much.
You've been hurting me all these years."

"I'm sorry kiddo.I'm sorry."

You've mastered all lies.
Lies lies lies lies..

-Priya Ohol
Feb 2007

Credits:
Image 1: www.members.tripod.com
Image 2: Wallace Garrison
Image 3: www.smileto.ca

All Lies © Copyright 2007 .Priya Ohol/P.O. -TheShrew . All Rights Reserved.

One Ass,A Reply,few facts and some real BULLSHIT.

2007-04-02T01:55:00.000+05:30

Are you fuckin Retarded Navin WITH THE extra I?

This is a comment I recieved for my last post.

Naviin said...

So much bullshit, why do you care what people wanna do with their sperm, theres no "emperical" evidence to prove that people are born hetero/homo/bi/whatever sexual.

Whats being soft/hard/hot/ugly got to do with ones sexual preferences.Some people say gogol never had any women in his life because he was ugly, i guess its time for you to join that herd.

Although interesting connotation, as per the argument, the sperm was made to procreate, which means women were made so that guys could made them pregnant.

Do you always give advice out to people, when you desperately need it, just so you find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

No, seriously.

Are you FUCKIN RETARDED?
You are so full of shit that you don't even have a right to use the word bullshit.

Why do you care why I care?If you don't care,thats your prerogative.You see that red cross on the top right corner,Something doesn't interest you? USE IT.

If I do,you're a self glorifying cocky bastard to think I would need explain to YOU why.
Don't frikkin try to force down your ways down my throat.

Talking about "empirical" evidences,Show me one ABSOLUTE.

Science is transitory.Everything we know now might be changed or amended at any point.So your stupid reply about "empirical" evidences is just that.

STUPID.

Being Hard/Soft has to do with "Hormones" Testosterone/Estrogen which decides the male/femaleness.Those are things People are Born with.If you cannot understand what I meant in such simple sentences I think its time for you to go back to first grade english classes.

Which line in the post talks about "hot/ugly"? Read it twice and answer.

NOT EVEN ONE.

So whats your point in bringing that up?

I think gogol was an extraordinary writer.Although,his women characters were almost inhuman.I haven't paid much attention to his sex life unlike you.However,to my knowledge,he is said to have been an repressed homosexual.If he wasn't and he still had no women,I think he was a loser on that front.

And I guess its time for you to go fuck yourself.

Regarding this point of yours,

"Although interesting connotation, as per the argument, the sperm was made to procreate, which means women were made so that guys could made them pregnant. "

I expected better logic from someone at the IIM's.

You're trying to link one fact and one personal opinion and trying to project it as a badly drawn logical conclusion.Get real already.

The Female equivalent of the "sperm" is an " ovum". Not the WHOLE female itself.

Sexual intercourse - In the strictly biological sense means -the insertion of the male penis into the female Vagina FOR THE PURPOSE OF REPRODUCTION.
Pleasure and Recreation are secondary.Its a natural law.

Keeping that in mind,
The sperm is OBVIOUSLY meant for procreation.So is the "ovum".[Again,The female equivalent to a sperm is not the whole female but the ovum.]

If sperm is meant for procreation, An ovum is meant to be fertilised.So your logical reasoning is flawed beyond reason.

Do you watch discovery channel?What does a female tigress do to the male once her cubs are born?
Yes thats right.

She drives him away.She will even kill him if he comes in her territory.

If I had to think and talk like you,I'd say,
Since the ovum is meant for reproduction,Men were made so that women could use them and their dicks to get babies.

Maternal instinct.

*shrug*

However,even with the preceeding example,thats ridiculous.So Eat your words.

Finally,
Nope I don't unnecessarily give out advice,"directly or indirectly".No I have never desperately needed advice.If I did I would ask.Exactly the right person too.

If you interpreted it as such you should introspect.Maybe that desperate need is Yours.

If you don't have an opinion on a topic,next time kindly get lost.You are nothing but an attention seeking critic.You're critique is pointless and worthless.

Lastly,
I repeat.
I WILL NOT APOLOGISE FOR WHAT I PUT UP ON MY WEBSPACE.

NEVER FUCKIN EVER.

If you don't like it,don't frikkin read it.If you don't like it and you still read it,You're a fool.

This goes for anyone reading this.

I don't put up things to please Asses like above.This blog is primarily for me.Oh I love the comments don't get me wrong.But lets get this straight.I will put down whatever thoughts whenever I please.

Flawed/Precise/Stupid/Silly/Political/Judgemental/Quality, I claim all responsilbility and rights.

If you have a relevant opinion,whether you agree or disagree relevant criticism even,I'll love to know it.If you just come by and like reading,(Hiya! *waves) keep doing that.

If you are in the league of the one with the extra "I", Kiss my ass.

--------------

Alright.Feel so good already.Wait

FUCK YOU!!

C'mon not you.HIM. Now thats done.HAH!

Hey you guys see that green skype young and restless thingie? ========>>

I'm testing out the public chat.
So if you have a skype addy,Log in and then click the "Join Now" link and leave me a message.

Don't forget to log in first.

-----------
Saw "The Pursuit of happiness" today.Good movie.Go watch.

>>Sudden random thoughts.>>

1)New Books Smell Soooo niceee!

2)EOT cranes are a pain in the ass.

3)Chantilli white is pretty good.Wonder if I could call it dry.Anyone?

4) Port wine can definitely be said to have "body".

5)A good continuous,stomach cramping 15 minute laugh a month is essential.

6)I should improve my people skills.

7)Nicki recorded me a song named priyadarshini.My parents heard it and thought she was gay and in love with me.Moreso,since she sent me a letter addressed as "Priya my love,"

8) I have a song/poem that I'll put up soon.

9)How do you handle a 14 year old teenager without ever saying or doing anything that might harm her?Sisterhood/Parenting is a tough task.

10) The doors had disbanded in 5 years and weren't really as popular in their time.

11)"Lucy in the sky with diamonds" by the beatles is about LSD.Although the title is from a drawing this little boy made of his friend lucy.In the sky.With Diamonds.

12)I was unbelievably ignorant about dylans "Blowing in the wind" .I think downloading music comes with a price.

13)"Stay hungry.Stay Foolish." I can't get that thought out of my head.I only hope I have interpreted it correctly.hah. For those who came in late,refer Steve Jobs.

14)I am literally hungry right now.

15)Sometimes,People drift away.And you just don't care anymore.

16)Sometimes,this blog might get personal.

Thats all.Night.
xxxxxx

GayBombay

2007-03-08T00:57:00.000+05:30

I just discovered this while cleaning my comp.LMFAO!It's funny as.
But hey wait.

That got me thinking man.

I'm not homophobic.I always thought it was natural.
Infact I think gay men are great friends.I'm anti homophobic.But there's some arguments in defense.Like this cartoon.What use is a sperm of if not for pro-creation??I was talking to this pastor guy last week.And he claimed that most people he knew were harmed as kids or abused and its a result of that.He also claimed to have "cured" one of them with god's help.I said "They are normal.I don't agree.I think all of us actually swing both ways.It's our choices and influences that decide. "

I might be wrong there.But thats how I thought about it.
I mean if they can be 'cured" that implies they are ill.And who wouldn't wanna get better!?So why are there so many people fighting for their rights!!?If it wasn't natural there wouldn't be GayBombay parties happening right here.It can't be a worthless fight!

Most species are bi so it's natural they say.

But is it really?

2007-03-02T09:16:00.000+05:30

Listen to me whoever you are!Don't even think of suicide.Nothing and noone is worth more than your own life.And its your family that always comes through.So think about them.And keep some respect for your life.Or no one else will either.And don't use suicide to emotionally blackmail or control people.It will make none of you happy.

Ashes & Dust ©

2007-02-16T01:57:00.000+05:30

One Sinister night,

Sudden warmth and flames.
A red dragon. Green crest.

Spitting fire. Bloody eyed.
Set everything ablaze.

Swaggerin’ to and fro.
So heavy each step.

All run helter skelter.
A child stays.

In awe of the colours.
This incredible wretch.

See the old man rush!!
Whispering, pull him away.
“Not glass.No.Not wood. Let’s go to the lake!!”

Hiding and crouching,then down they went.
Only heads above stay
Two submerged bodies,
One night one day.

Then crisis gone,shivering,
Through made their way,
Smoky Simmering haze.
Smell of flesh.

And there,
Once was home.
Now,nought remains.

Young dark eyes searched,turned,
Brimming with questions,incredulous.

Held firm by a watery older pair,
Hands on shoulders,

“Son,Hear what I say,
One thing,remember you must.
Finally everything mingles with this air.
Ashes to ashes.Dust to dust.”

- Priya Ohol

Learning to fly

2007-02-01T21:44:00.000+05:30

THIS is one song I've always loved.
It also has an award winning video.
Here Check it out.

And here's the lyrics.

lyrics - pink floyd

.........Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I.....

Pink floyd has got it so right!

Ever had that feeling?

Have you known how it feels to fly?
To take off and then fall free,

Your stomach butterflies,

Feet off the ground and gravity to defy,

Experienced how the blood rushes,
An Inexplicable surge of Joy?

If you haven't yet,
The next time you see a trampoline,
GET ON IT!!

Forget who you are or where.
Scream,yell,shout but do it!!

Some people live for this.
They are born to fly.I've come across a few of them.
And more recently I came across a couple.

Flt. Lt. Ronald Kevin Serrao and Flt. Lt. Deepika Dadlani Serrao.

“Kev” or “Ronnie” as he was called by those near to him, died when his jaguar crashed on Thursday, January 18 in Rajasthan.During live firing exercises.

He had just turned 26 a day before on Jan 17.

He and deepika aka “chunmun” had not even completed a year married together.
They had just married in April.
They were also posted in different cities and deepika had just transferred to be with Kevin.

I chanced upon them on fellow blogger cedric’s blog here .
He's handled it so sensitively.

Then I ran a search on the networking site and it hit hard.

Damn man they are so frikkin real.

I can’t stop revisiting and staring at their profiles.
So real It’s unbelievable.

The sky is his home he said.

How many of us have lived?Really lived?
When I read their profiles I remembered what life was.What it was to have gone against the stream and tried to follow my heart.I can relate to them.They were living what I'd once tasted.Every single day!!They are free!They have lived!!!

At 26 this handsome young boy had everything going for him and achieved so much!

I realised these people were happy!With everything they had.
Flt. Lt. Ronald Kevin Serrao had a passion for his flight,life and wife(by his own admission).
PASSION.
He had a purpose,passion,love,ambition and character.

There's a huge difference between the services and the civillian world.Noone knows this better than defence families.Defence kids more often than not go the same route.Generation upon generation.It's a matter of pride!

They perhaps would be at a loss if placed in a civilian world for an extended period.I strongly believe that atleast an year of military service should be compulsory for the country's young.That would bring about a sea of change.

Deepika said goodbye.With a salute for the fellow officer and a peck for the husband.

What a brave woman.Such poise!She did not for a second let him down.

Theirs is a tale of Idealism, Courage, Bravery, Duty, Integrity, Purpose, Love,…Death.

I hope the investigations do not take away from ronnie and the nation,his credibility.I only hope it is fair.Maybe it's because of the youth.Maybe it's so moving because most of the legends today has died young.Nevertheless,these two young people have touched so many lives.I really really hope nothing ruins that.

Godspeed Officer.

May peace be with you.

What is it about flight?Why have we pursued and sought it with so much madness?People tied feathers and jumped of cliffs and hills killing themselves.Before engineering one of the most revolutionary inventions of the last century.And once we started we never stopped!Gliders to Two seaters to Aeroplanes to The Concorde (Mannnn) to Fighters like MIG's to Stealth planes to God alone knows what!

Listen while this poem tells us.
Every flying officer knows it.
I have no idea about the original source.

Flight is freedom in its purest form,
To dance with the clouds which follow a storm;
To roll and glide, to wheel and spin,
To feel the joy that swells within.

To leave the earth with its troubles and fly,
And know the warmth of a clear spring sky;
Then back to earth at the end of the day,
Released from the tensions which melted away

Should my end come while I am in flight,
Whether brightest day or darkest night;
Spare me no pity and shrug off the pain,
Secure in the knowledge that I'd do it again.

For each of us is created to die,
And within me I know

I was born to fly

~Anon

Quarter life

2007-01-24T04:41:00.001+05:30

Everyone around me is hitched or getting hitched or is planning to get hitched. I'm in a different world all by myself. Maybe I'm on mars. Since all the men from mars came to earth anyway. That would explain my detatched,day-dreaming consequently aloof behaviour too.

Come the 25th and I'm gonna be a party to something I never thought I would do.I'm gonna be a witness for this childhood friends marriage.They are eloping.I'm assisting.I have to keep 2 passport size photographs and a passport or ration card handy.
One of my ex is getting hitched pretty soon last I heard.More than half of my childhood comrades bit the dust in the past month of December 2006.

Eloping?Did you hear eloping?

Like they did a century ago in English Literature or in the 80's in India when such movies were popular?

Well yes it's true.I always used to think and visualise people who "ran away and got married" literally " running " and marrying when they were sufficiently away….When I was a kid.
Okay for quite sometime after childhood.
Okay I accept it!!!

It's still the first visual that comes to my head when I hear that phrase.Didn't I mention Mars?

But I digress.The guy's an old friend.He’s also an engineer.So qualification isn’t the issue.They've been seeing each other for the past 5 years atleast. I happened to speak to him today and asked if the girl was ready.She was he said.

I didn’t say this to him but I suggested to our common best friend that we go and talk to her family first and if it doesn’t work then go ahead with it.And what the hell are they in an hurry for?

That’s how I came to know the girls family wasn't agreeing and they’d fixed her up with someone else and there was gonna be an engagement pretty soon.

So I said alright it’s fair then.We’ll pick her up.
And this is the 21st century.I must be extremely lucky considering the kind of freedom I have. Not lucky,I fought for it but yeah.
I really don’t like the idea of hurting the family but I guess it’s justified here. Or maybe it isn’t.

What do you think? Would you live a life without love? Marry expecting companionship and forgoing love? Do you think sacrificing a relationship for family or vice-versa is fair?Is love and companionship together too much to ask for?To me marriage is honestly?Something that gives me palpitations.

I intend to remain single till 30 atleast.While everyone is getting hitched I don’t even really know someone I might want to be with for more than a few days or months.Man where did all you people find the “right” guys and girls eh?I think I would be more suited to an open relationship.With the wanderlust that I’m blessed with and my random impulses to take off when I want,close myself in at others,go all out at another,I don’t see how anything else maybe possible.

Why should love,happiness and cherishing another person be bound by things like marriage,and concepts like loyalty, fidelity, stablility and like?

While we’re here, I might as well ask if anyone else has noticed good girls go with all the wrong guys?Why do women settle for something or someone lesser than them? Physically and mentally or either? And it’s evenmore confounding if the two concerned people aren’t in love. Why would a girl settle for someone like this without the excuse of being blinded by love? Is this not a compromise? This question arises because one of my best girlfriends Is doing something similar. And I am genuinely confused and upset. Obviously I want the best for people I care about and this guy just doesn’t match upto the best.He’s the kind of guy who you would keep as a good friend and / or an usefull contact.Can anybody give me a reasonable explanation?

Maybe I have a single gene in me which refuses to understand things like these.Hmm

And While we’re talking about relationships I want it stated on record that Online relationships suck.They’re a waste of your time if they don’t go beyond the internet in the first few days or months..And if you happen to get caught in such a situation,don’t give up your real life for it or you’ll feel like a fool later.

This good friend of my racer ex asked me a few days ago,how inspite of being so much like each other we weren’t together.I threatened to kill him if he hurts the ex and the ex threatened to kill him if he hurt’s me it seems.So he goes “ I can’t imagine or understand why and how with so much emotional bonding,you guys manage to not be together? How did you not fall in love with him? Tell me the secret.”

Though I didn’t answer him,something’s go beyond plain old love.Once you’ve made someone family and spent considerable time with them,built a strong friendship and something more than that, even if you drift away, you’d still care for or worry about,value and side with them.

Talking about friends,Men,If your best friend is a girl and she means anything to you,And you have a silly,short,childish,not so good looking girlfriend.And even if they’ve spoken earlier on the phone or MSN to each other,If the girl friend suddenly gets insecure of your best friend to the extent that she makes you delete the best friends pics from your comp, fights for talking to her on the phone late into the night and complains and starts a fight on seeing your pic in her orkut album,that’s a sign.You believe in signs?I do. It’s a sign to dump her or you’re gonna have a miserable life.Gutless spineless uncool prick. I need an explanation for why anyone would like to be treated like a doormat and be ok with it.

I also need an explanation why there are ugly men in this world? Ok girls this is for you. Have you had a guy ask you about your virginity? “So are you still a virgin?” Did you get this overwhelming urge to slap or punch his face in or say something crude? Were you seething with rage but just gave a piercing glare?To all such UGLY men out there who have asked me this question you know ho you are.You ugly prick from my college who isn’t worth even a glance from me and you the guy who asked me out and you both of my ex’s .You are disgusting. This is for you 00100 / ..1.. . You know what is that? It’s the middle finger.

It means FUCK YOU BITCH!!! MY VIRGINITY IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS.DID I ASK THE SIZE OF YOUR DICK?!

It’s so obvious?!! And VULGAR.It’s like indirectly asking if you are available or if they have a chance. LISTEN TO ME LOOSERS.You don’t stand a chance.SOD OFF.I don’t even have to tell you the status.

Loosers like you will never stand a chance to even be given a second glance. And if you are an ex, You now know why I dumped you?Because you suck.Consequently you’ll never stand a chance.There’s a reason why I dumped you suckers.And Mr. Asking me out why don’t you find something more shallow?Like how I have one white hair.Or how I deliberately dress down for college till I look like a dork?Or how my spectacles don’t look good.Or how my left and right eyebrow don’t perfectly match?If someone asks me this question again I will smack them so hard that they’ll loose conciousness.

MEN WHO STILL DON’T GET IT. IT IS INSULTING AND OFFENSIVE.SO REFRAIN FROM SUCH IMPOLITE ENQUIRIES.

I hate the great Indian middle class.Though I am a part of it still.I have nothing but the utmost contempt for them and their stupid shallow superficial values.I detest the men the most.With their shitty attitude.And brash ugly tongues and no class.

Fracas©

2006-12-12T23:54:00.000+05:30

She flows swirling

Her caress

Hypnotic.

Misty dreams

Shimmering dances

A flicker.

Bonds broken

Struggles within

Breathe!!Now Breathe!!

Breathe..breathe..

And she flows swirling

Hypnotic

That Dream I had

2006-11-13T23:44:00.000+05:30

There's a thread about dreams on the bombay community .

I'd say I never get dreams.

However since we're all supposed to dream everyday let's just say,

I don’t usually remember my dreams the next morning.

There are exactly 3 that I remember though. All were nightmares. Let me share one.
But for you to genuinely understand you should know some background.

When we’d shifted from khar to thane some 20 years ago, we used to stay right in the middle of nowhere.
At the foothills of yeoor mountains.
There were a few beautiful streams that played in and unsuccessfully tried to fish in,
some hillocks that I climbed, few companies some kilometers away.
We built a house. My Aunt’s house was on the left.

And on the right was a lone palm tree on a whole big stretch of land. eerie. And no real civilization.

Between adivasis.

No kidding.

I’ve played dabba-Ispice and pakda-pakdi on the trees with them.

We were later told that this place we bought was built on the land that the adivasis used to bury their dead.

I don’t know how many of you believe in hauntings and chills and energies and presences.

I do. With reason .

There was a “ramphal” (Yes that’s what they called it) tree around the house.

And that tree was said to be haunted by a “Rakshas” .
A lot many people had seen this red eyed monster hanging from it at night.

There was another one who was headless they said.

Some of my family had such visions too. If you walked past that tree at night, you were sure to get goosebumps. The hair on your neck would stand right up.

They once built a well under that tree once and three people drowned in the well in 2 months.

Someone reported saying he’s seen the vision of a boy around the tree2 days later a young boy’s bloated body rose to the surface. I happened to see it.They covered up the well that day.

This must be around the time I was 8.The boy was my age. For the next few days there was a lot of talk.

I generally used to sleep alone on the queen bed. But this particular day I kept having visions about a red eyed monster looking at me through the cracks in the windows(Old houses had wooden windows, Rays of light used to filter in through the cracks at night) .

So I crept in between mom and dad’s bed and put my head in the covers and finally dozed off after a long time.
That's whenI saw this red eyed monster (with real bad hair) smiling nastily come towards me.

I shut my eyes tight and kept on repeating a multitude of god names. He tried to get me to open my eyes but I wouldn’t and started yelling.

So he POOPED ALL OVER MY COVERS !!

I woke up yelling , crying and puking .My parents were so freaked.
Dad carried me to the bathroom and I wouldn’t stop crying and puking for the next 10 minutes.

Boy I was sooooo scared.

No wonder I'm slightly eccentric.

I'm Dalit, how are you?

2006-10-29T03:13:00.000+05:30

I have no words.

Rape

2006-10-25T01:40:00.000+05:30

Is rape about Sex or Power?

This is my opinion:

Rape is about sex AND power in varying degrees.
Depending on the circumstances.

A gang rape is about both power and sex for the perpetrators.
That they can hurt a girl,violate her and hear her yelling for help while they take turns to humiliate her.
It has to be some sort of perverse pleasure for them,doesn't it?

A guy who drugs a girl and then rapes her,because she may not put it out,
Eg:Date-rapes,
He's not using power or showing it either.
He's just drugging her so that she knows what's happening but can't feel,resist or move willingly.
This where rape is about sex for the guy.
But for the victim,she's going to feel just as helpless.powerless.worthless.
That's where power comes into the equation.
The intent of the perpetrator might not have been to feel powerfull.
But he has managed to make her feel helpless.

A scenario where a guy rapes a woman just to feel manly or to show he's the stronger one or with the sole intention to abuse is about power primarily.
For eg:A fight that ensues in a rape.
Marital rapes might probably fall under this category.

What's your opinion?

Mohammed Afzal Guru

2006-10-23T18:54:00.000+05:30

The more I read on this,the more it seems there's more to this then meets the eye.

A human rights petition for his clemency had me irked to no end and I started reading in depth.

On 30th August 2003,the BSF claimed to have killed the mastermind behind the december 13 attack.One by the name of Gazi baba.
Ref-http://jammu-kashmir.com/archives/archives2003/kashmir20030830d.html

Are we making Afzal a scapegoat because we need someone to convict courtesy our nationalism?
We don't even have a clear picture yet!
He was a surrendered militant working for the J&K State Task Force.
According to his confession he met a tariq at an STF camp who introduced him to one"Muhammad".
This particular tariq and an STF officer asked him to take muhammad from srinagar to delhi.It seems this "Muhammad" was the leader of the team that attacked the parliament.
Later on he went on to say,“I had not identified any terrorist. The police told me the names of terrorists and forced me to identify.”

He claimed that the police made him sign a pre-written disclosure and confession and also gave graphic details of the illegal procedure under which these were obtained.

If his confession is true,then 3 terrorists in the parliamentary attack case came from the STF?
Why wasn't Afzals confession probed into?Why was there no public enquiry into the conspiracy?Do we even know who attacked the parliament and why?
No!
For an attack and issue so grave,this is an obvious question.
We cannot just discount the facts can we?
The militants nearly succeeded in blowing up the building.
Their identity is not yet known for sure,they left behind a truckload of evidence that might have led to numerous other sources.
The co-accuseds,Delhi university lecturer S.A.R. Geelani was acquitted,A woman by the name Afsan Guru formerly Navjyot Sandhu was sentenced to 5 years R.I. on charges of concealing knowledge about the conspiracy in 2003.
However the appeals of Mohammed afzal guru and Shaukat hussain guru-Afshan guru's husband,were dismissed then too.

The only evidence against him that I'm aware of is that Afzal's phone number was found in person on the terrorists who were killed on december 13.
The call records of this number led them to Shaukat hussain and Geelani who seemed to know Afzal through Hussain.

Afzal was not the mastermind.The supreme court ceded that his involvement was on the 3rd level.
He seems to have been a link between the masterminds and the attackers or someone handling the logistics at the worst.

The Supreme Court awarded death sentence to Guru, stating: “The incident, which resulted in heavy causality, has shaken the nation and the collective conscience of the society will be satisfied if capital punishment is awarded to the offender.”

3 courts have found him guilty.But there is obviously much more to this then meets the eye.

Our conscience will be satisfied if while he's being kept alive,an indepth enquiry is made into this case and the details are made public.

And then all of those involved at all the levels are hanged.

She's either burnt or dead.

2006-09-30T10:12:00.000+05:30

The headlines:

Jilted lover throws acid on girls face

Male members of a family have a profound effect on the young ones.
A boy will emulate his father and try to be like him.

If you look identifying traits of a sociopath or a psychopath,they are usually people without the influence of a father.In our country, although times are changing,the male child is treated differently,pampered beyond reason.

We have one basic fault.
There is almost no communication between a father and a son.
There's a difference between a mother saying "respect women" and a father showing it his actions and asking his son to do the same.

The point is a fathers influence is enormous.
Especially on issues like aggression,attitude,confidence..predominantly male qualities.
A mother nurses,corrects,guides,helps,loves and is always partial due to a mothers heart.

The father leads.

Thats about family.
However,what about the son?

A man "throws acid" on a woman.

How outrageous isn't it?
Why and how did he even get that idea?
Who is to be blamed for it?

Us.

We the people let him think it is okay and he can get away with it.
In a country where a victim of rape is victimised further and potrayed as the guilty party,What do you expect?
Also,our movies set the trends that generations follow.
Remember when ek duje ke liye and alike movies were the norm,that generation tended to follow in the footsteps?
We need stronger laws,and a change in our own outlook and behaviour on a individual level.
Such things should be discussed in classes too.
Moreso,at college level,where we youth tend to be swayed by momentary pleasures and desires.

I think psychology should be a compulsory subject for all courses.
Or maybe something on the lines of Emotional intelligence.

As far as the son is concerned,he is a sociopath should have been in therapy.
I have worse adjectives but lets leave it at that.

~~Oh baby you've come a long long way,Yet there are so many milestones to go..~~

Bombay

2006-08-30T15:40:00.000+05:30

Bombay......Whispering seas...Swish....That tilt of her neck...Carressing winds...peculiar smells...Sunsets...purple pink skies...allgiving...raped...capital of a state more than 800 crores in debt ...food...money...earth...sand...air...selfish...TAKE IT ALL...mumbadevi....make them all pay..make them all pay..make them all pay......